Special Day
Today is supposed to be a happy day for me.It's a special occasion after all.I should have invite my friends and relatives today to celebrate it with me.I should celebrated it with a big party.I should be dancing along with a good music with them or just chat all night.I'll be wondering what kind of cake did they hide from me.Is it chocolate?Is it strawberry?Is it vanilla?And what type of cream is it?Heavy topping or the one covered with...what do you call it again?hmm I don't really remember it anymore.It makes your cake beautiful.And what kind of decoration will it be?it's supposed to be a mystery for me.
But here I am , sitting in this gloomy room.Alone and lonely.With no one to talk to.No one will talk to me anymore or crack a joke for me.I don't even remember how to smile far away from laughing.I feel like smiling and laughing is a strange thing for me now.It's not that I don't want to but It's more like I can't force myself to smile nor laugh anymore.I mean how can I smile and laugh when I can't even remember how to do that.And to be honest,what does cake taste like?if i remember it correctly,it was supposed to be sweet right?It's not supposed to be salty or sour.Is there any spicy cake?If yes,I would love to try it.But I can't due to my own mistake.
In this lonely and dark room,I only have a bed,a toilet and a mirror.Sleeping,peeing and pooping in the same room?Most people will feel disgusted to do it but for me,it's usual.How long have I been in this room?I can't remember it anymore.As far as I know,I've been in this room long enough to forget how to smile and laugh,forget how fresh air feels when it gently touch your face,forget how flower smell like or how the sun covered the entire world brightly,how the starts decorate the sky at night.I forget how it feels like to be walking aound with a smile on my face.I wanna lay down on the grass,doing nothing but to stare at the stars at night.thinking that they were staring at me too.But I can't due to my own mistake.
When I was a kid,I always thought that there's a man living in the sky.I thought he's the one who wake up the sun and told him to provide the humans with bright yet calming light so they can do their work.And he's also the one who thought of the stars formation every night.I always admire that man seeing how different the stars position every night.Well,it was a child imagination.Wild and you can say it is a bit unreasonable.But i really miss that golden time of mine.Perhaps if I was born in a different type of family,I might be in a different room right now.I might be working abroad or I might have my own company right now.Signing contract with overseas companies.Drinking expensive wine with other CEO at an expensive five star hotel.Sharing each other experience or just boasting about each other wealthy.But I can't due to my own mistake.
But no matter how much I hate my family,they're still my relatives.But...they didn't visit me even once.I never get a call,informing me that someone was out there waiting for me.Visiting me here just to say that they missed me.Not even once.And I don't remember the last time I stepped a foot outside this dark and lonely room.Or maybe I didn't.Not since I entered this room,I never went out either.Food? Tch,they just slide it under the small door on the wall.kinda look like they were feeding a dog.Or maybe they thought of us as a wild dog that needed to be kept away in cages to prevent us from the hurting the others.
I stared at the marker pen that I requested from the guard earlier.At first he gave a disgusted look when I first call him but then after hearing my request,he smile a bit and gave it to me.It's a black marker pen.That's all I have he said.I grabbed the marker pen with my hand and started to scribble on the wall.Decorations,stick peoples who are wearing party hat on their head,singing a song happily.Some are gathering at the table,some are just watching from afar.I'm the center of attention of course.Staring at the cake in front of me and waiting for them to finish.I close my eyes and whisper to myself,I wanna be free again,I wanna hug my family again.I regreted everything that I've done in my past life.I blow on the imaginary candles on the wall with tears that I can't hold back dropping from my eyes.
The memories were stucked in my mind.How I can't control myself that day.I know what I was doing yet I feel like I was controlled by someone else.I can't do anything but scream silently seeing my mother's cry for help in front of me.Blood from her mouth and knife on her chest,I saw it all but I can't help her.But I remembered how she looked at me,It's full of love even after what I did to her.It's the same with my father.He was holding my shoulders begging me to stop with a fork in his right eye and a knife in his stomach.But it is more painful when I think about my little sister.She was innocent.So pure when I choked her to dead.And I can hear her whispering with a weak voice.I...love...you...so...much...
I wipe the tears with my sleeve and opened my eyes slowly.I saw the painting on the walls.I gently touched with my hand and screamed.I'm sorry mom!I'm sorry dad!I'm sorry...Kayla...It's all my fault.I shouldn't have consume that devil that day.The devil called narkoba.If I avoided from consuming it,we'll be all together now and we still be a happy family.But because of that devil,you all lose your life in my hands.My own filthy hands.I am the one who takes over the duty of a grim reaper.I took your precious life away.I'm sorry.
Mom,dad,Kayla...Today should be a happy and special day.But I ruined it because of my own mistake.Now,I'm alone in this dark cell.And I probably will celebrate my birthday alone again next year,for the rest of my life.I guess I deserved all the punishment they give me.That's why I never tried to escape from here and I never will.There's no reason for me to be out there anymore.Even if I'm free,I have nowhere to go and no place to call home.And I will never forgive myself until I died.
---THE END---
But here I am , sitting in this gloomy room.Alone and lonely.With no one to talk to.No one will talk to me anymore or crack a joke for me.I don't even remember how to smile far away from laughing.I feel like smiling and laughing is a strange thing for me now.It's not that I don't want to but It's more like I can't force myself to smile nor laugh anymore.I mean how can I smile and laugh when I can't even remember how to do that.And to be honest,what does cake taste like?if i remember it correctly,it was supposed to be sweet right?It's not supposed to be salty or sour.Is there any spicy cake?If yes,I would love to try it.But I can't due to my own mistake.
In this lonely and dark room,I only have a bed,a toilet and a mirror.Sleeping,peeing and pooping in the same room?Most people will feel disgusted to do it but for me,it's usual.How long have I been in this room?I can't remember it anymore.As far as I know,I've been in this room long enough to forget how to smile and laugh,forget how fresh air feels when it gently touch your face,forget how flower smell like or how the sun covered the entire world brightly,how the starts decorate the sky at night.I forget how it feels like to be walking aound with a smile on my face.I wanna lay down on the grass,doing nothing but to stare at the stars at night.thinking that they were staring at me too.But I can't due to my own mistake.
When I was a kid,I always thought that there's a man living in the sky.I thought he's the one who wake up the sun and told him to provide the humans with bright yet calming light so they can do their work.And he's also the one who thought of the stars formation every night.I always admire that man seeing how different the stars position every night.Well,it was a child imagination.Wild and you can say it is a bit unreasonable.But i really miss that golden time of mine.Perhaps if I was born in a different type of family,I might be in a different room right now.I might be working abroad or I might have my own company right now.Signing contract with overseas companies.Drinking expensive wine with other CEO at an expensive five star hotel.Sharing each other experience or just boasting about each other wealthy.But I can't due to my own mistake.
But no matter how much I hate my family,they're still my relatives.But...they didn't visit me even once.I never get a call,informing me that someone was out there waiting for me.Visiting me here just to say that they missed me.Not even once.And I don't remember the last time I stepped a foot outside this dark and lonely room.Or maybe I didn't.Not since I entered this room,I never went out either.Food? Tch,they just slide it under the small door on the wall.kinda look like they were feeding a dog.Or maybe they thought of us as a wild dog that needed to be kept away in cages to prevent us from the hurting the others.
I stared at the marker pen that I requested from the guard earlier.At first he gave a disgusted look when I first call him but then after hearing my request,he smile a bit and gave it to me.It's a black marker pen.That's all I have he said.I grabbed the marker pen with my hand and started to scribble on the wall.Decorations,stick peoples who are wearing party hat on their head,singing a song happily.Some are gathering at the table,some are just watching from afar.I'm the center of attention of course.Staring at the cake in front of me and waiting for them to finish.I close my eyes and whisper to myself,I wanna be free again,I wanna hug my family again.I regreted everything that I've done in my past life.I blow on the imaginary candles on the wall with tears that I can't hold back dropping from my eyes.
The memories were stucked in my mind.How I can't control myself that day.I know what I was doing yet I feel like I was controlled by someone else.I can't do anything but scream silently seeing my mother's cry for help in front of me.Blood from her mouth and knife on her chest,I saw it all but I can't help her.But I remembered how she looked at me,It's full of love even after what I did to her.It's the same with my father.He was holding my shoulders begging me to stop with a fork in his right eye and a knife in his stomach.But it is more painful when I think about my little sister.She was innocent.So pure when I choked her to dead.And I can hear her whispering with a weak voice.I...love...you...so...much...
I wipe the tears with my sleeve and opened my eyes slowly.I saw the painting on the walls.I gently touched with my hand and screamed.I'm sorry mom!I'm sorry dad!I'm sorry...Kayla...It's all my fault.I shouldn't have consume that devil that day.The devil called narkoba.If I avoided from consuming it,we'll be all together now and we still be a happy family.But because of that devil,you all lose your life in my hands.My own filthy hands.I am the one who takes over the duty of a grim reaper.I took your precious life away.I'm sorry.
Mom,dad,Kayla...Today should be a happy and special day.But I ruined it because of my own mistake.Now,I'm alone in this dark cell.And I probably will celebrate my birthday alone again next year,for the rest of my life.I guess I deserved all the punishment they give me.That's why I never tried to escape from here and I never will.There's no reason for me to be out there anymore.Even if I'm free,I have nowhere to go and no place to call home.And I will never forgive myself until I died.
---THE END---
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